All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Two words: blizzard sex
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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