I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
