Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
