I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize