Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What drink are we having for lunch?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
