Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There's always time for handjobs
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
