He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my being single is dangerous.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
