so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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