Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
