grandma shit on top of the toilet
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize