How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
