were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Randomize
