Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
