Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
