My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
