Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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