It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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