i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
