dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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