just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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