OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this just has baby written all over it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
