I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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