Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
