dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
