i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize