You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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