Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize