i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
