We're facebook friends in real life
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
