My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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