dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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