So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize