He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
