she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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