does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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