so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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