none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
