make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
