i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
