when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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