I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize