i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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