Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
even my farts smell like vagina
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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