Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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