I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
