I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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