I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Someone shattered a urinal.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
