Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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