My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
why is half of my head shaved?
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