you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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