sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
