Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
