I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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