First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
