I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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