I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize