This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
