I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
They took my balls.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
