You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
