guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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