shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
