Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
