Sponge bath it is.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize