quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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