I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
