Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
